RSB3Marriage and the Family: Marriage, Sex, Family Planning and Divorce

• Christians believe marriage was created by God: a lifelong, faithful union between two people, made before God. Most churches teach it is between a man and a woman.
• Mark 10:6–9: Jesus said “from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female… the two will become one flesh… What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Mark 10:6–9, World English Bible, British Edition). He was quoting Genesis 2:24.
• Purposes (found in the wedding services of many churches):
• Companionship: lifelong love, support and comfort (“It is not good for the man to be alone”, Genesis 2:18).
• Sexual union: sex is a gift for expressing love within marriage (‘one flesh’).
• Children: having children and bringing them up in a secure, loving home and in the Christian faith (“Be fruitful, multiply”, Genesis 1:28).
• A sign of God’s love: Paul compares a husband’s love for his wife to Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:25).
• Significance in Christian life: marriage is a vocation (calling) from God; the couple make vows before God and the church community, and the community promises to support them.

Marriage

A legal and, for Christians, spiritual union of two people in a lifelong relationship.

Vows

Solemn promises the couple make to each other at their wedding.

One flesh

Jesus’ description (from Genesis 2:24) of the close physical and spiritual union of a married couple.

• Catholic and Orthodox Christians see marriage as a sacrament: an outward sign through which God gives grace. In Catholic teaching the couple themselves give the sacrament to each other through their vows, and a valid, consummated marriage can’t be dissolved.
• Protestant churches (for example Anglican, Methodist, Baptist) usually see marriage as a holy covenant: a lifelong, binding agreement made before God, like God’s faithful covenant with his people. Most don’t count it as one of the sacraments.
• A Christian wedding often includes: readings (such as 1 Corinthians 13, on love: “Love is patient and is kind”); a sermon; vows to love and be faithful ‘for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health’; exchanging rings as a sign of unending love; a blessing; prayers; signing the register.
• Because marriage is made before God, Christians believe the promises are to God as well as to each other, which is why they take them seriously.

Sacrament

An outward sign of an inward, spiritual grace from God (Catholic and Orthodox Christians count marriage as one).

Covenant

A binding agreement; many Protestants describe marriage as a covenant before God.

• The sanctity of marriage: many people, religious and non-religious, see marriage as a special, serious commitment. Many atheists and Humanists value it as a public promise of love and a stable setting for children, without any link to God.
• Humanist weddings are non-religious ceremonies written by the couple. They are legally recognised in Scotland (since 2005) and Northern Ireland (since 2018), but not yet in England and Wales, where the couple also need a civil ceremony. In October 2025 the UK Government said it would recognise them as part of a wider reform of weddings law, but no change has yet been made.
• A lack of importance: some people think marriage is old-fashioned or ‘just a piece of paper’: what matters is love and commitment, not a legal ceremony. Others point to the cost of weddings and the number of divorces.
• Cohabitation: living together as a couple without being married. It is widely accepted in Britain, as a trial before marriage or as a long-term alternative.
• Same-sex marriage has been legal in England and Wales since 2014. Most non-religious people support it.
• Christian responses:
• Many Christians, including the Catholic Church, teach that marriage is the right setting for a sexual relationship and for bringing up children, because it is a public, lifelong, faithful commitment made before God; they see cohabitation as falling short of this.
• Other Christians accept that cohabiting couples may be committed and loving. The Methodist Church in 2021 recognised that couples who live together can show faithful commitment, while still teaching that marriage is the best setting. Many churches welcome cohabiting couples and encourage them to marry.
• Christians agree with non-religious people that love, commitment and faithfulness matter, and many work with them to support families.

Cohabitation

A couple living together without being married.

Civil ceremony

A non-religious legal wedding at a register office or approved venue.

Humanism

A non-religious world view: living ethically through reason, empathy and concern for others, without belief in God.

• Most Christian churches teach that sex is a gift from God and belongs within marriage, where it expresses lifelong love and commitment and is open to children.
• Catholic teaching says sex in marriage has two purposes that belong together: unitive (uniting the couple in love) and procreative (open to new life).
• Adultery (sex with someone other than your husband or wife) is forbidden: “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14, World English Bible, British Edition). It breaks the marriage vows and trust.
• 1 Corinthians 6:7–20: Paul writes to Christians in Corinth: “Flee sexual immorality!… don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you…?” (1 Corinthians 6:18–19, World English Bible, British Edition). He ends: “glorify God in your body” (6:20).
• How Christians interpret it: the body belongs to God, so sexual choices are spiritual, not just physical; casual sex and adultery go against this. Paul’s list of wrongdoers (6:9–10) is read by many Christians as forbidding same-sex sexual acts; other Christians argue the Greek words refer to exploitative relationships of Paul’s time, not to loving, committed partnerships. Paul also says “Some of you were such, but you were washed” (6:11): forgiveness is open to all.

Adultery

Sex between a married person and someone who is not their husband or wife.

Unitive and procreative

Catholic teaching that sex unites a married couple and is open to having children.

• Sex before marriage: the Catholic Church, the Orthodox Church and many Evangelical Protestants teach it is wrong: sex expresses a lifelong commitment that only marriage provides (Hebrews 13:4: “Let marriage be held in honour amongst all, and let the bed be undefiled”).
• Some liberal Protestants accept sex in a loving, committed, faithful relationship, such as between an engaged or cohabiting couple, because love and faithfulness matter most.
• Casual sex and adultery are rejected by almost all Christians: they treat people as objects, risk hurt, and break trust.
• Non-religious (atheist and Humanist) attitudes: most accept sex before marriage if both people are adults who freely consent, and the relationship is honest and responsible (for example, using contraception to avoid unplanned pregnancy and infections). Humanists stress happiness, respect and not harming others. Most also oppose adultery, because it involves deceit and harm.
• Christian responses: Christians agree that consent, honesty and respect matter, but many say they aren’t enough: sex is a gift for marriage, and its meaning comes from God, not only from the couple’s choice. More liberal Christians agree with non-religious people that the quality of the relationship is what counts.

Consent

Freely agreeing to something; in law, sexual activity without it is a crime.

Casual sex

Sex outside a committed relationship.

• Catholic teaching: being attracted to people of the same sex is not sinful, and gay and lesbian people must be treated with respect, with no unjust discrimination. But the Church teaches same-sex sexual acts are wrong, because sex belongs in marriage between a man and a woman and should be open to life. It doesn’t marry same-sex couples.
• Church of England: does not marry same-sex couples. Since 2023, its ‘Prayers of Love and Faith’ can be used to pray for and bless same-sex couples in ordinary services. Members remain deeply divided.
• Churches that accept same-sex marriage: the Scottish Episcopal Church (since 2017), the Methodist Church in Britain (since 2021; ministers who disagree don’t have to take part) and Quakers in Britain. They stress love, faithfulness and equality: all people are made in God’s image.
• Many Evangelical and Orthodox Christians teach that same-sex sexual relationships are against the Bible’s teaching (Genesis 2:24; 1 Corinthians 6:9).
• Non-religious attitudes: most atheists and Humanists fully accept same-sex relationships and marriage, arguing that what matters is consent, love and equality, and that discrimination causes harm. Humanists UK campaigned for same-sex marriage.
• Christian responses: liberal Christians agree, often using Jesus’ command to love one another; traditional Christians respect non-religious views in law but believe the Church should keep its teaching on marriage.

• Family planning means deciding whether and when to have children, and how many, often using contraception (methods that prevent pregnancy).
• Artificial methods: the pill, condoms, implants, the coil. Natural methods: natural family planning, which avoids sex on the woman’s fertile days.
• Catholic Church: Humanae Vitae (Pope Paul VI, 1968) teaches that each act of sex in marriage must stay open to the possibility of new life (paragraph 11). So artificial contraception is wrong; it separates the unitive and procreative purposes of sex. Natural family planning is allowed for serious reasons, because it works with the body God created (paragraph 16).
• Humanae Vitae also warned that widespread contraception might lead to less respect for women and to more unfaithfulness. Many Catholics in Britain don’t follow this teaching in practice.
• Many Protestant churches, including the Church of England (since the Lambeth Conference of 1930) and the Methodist Church, accept artificial contraception within marriage for responsible parenthood: spacing children, protecting the mother’s health, and caring well for the children a couple already has.
• Orthodox views vary; many allow some methods within marriage.
• Almost all Christians reject contraception that works by ending a pregnancy after conception. Contraception is not abortion: it prevents pregnancy from starting.

Christian teaching on family planning

Contraception

Methods used to prevent pregnancy.

Family planning

Deciding when to have children and how many, usually using contraception.

Humanae Vitae

Pope Paul VI’s 1968 encyclical: artificial contraception is wrong; natural methods are allowed.

Natural family planning

Avoiding sex on the fertile days of a woman’s cycle; the method the Catholic Church accepts.

• Non-religious (atheist and Humanist) attitudes: contraception is a matter of personal choice for the couple. It lets women control their own bodies, careers and health, protects against sexually transmitted infections (condoms), helps couples give each child enough love and money, and reduces unplanned pregnancies and abortions. Humanists support access to contraception for everyone.
• Situation ethics (Joseph Fletcher, 1966): there is one absolute rule, to do the most loving thing (Christian love, agape) in each situation. Rules are guides, not absolutes.
• Situation ethics applied: a couple who already struggle to care for their children, or a woman whose health would be at risk in pregnancy, might decide that using contraception is the most loving action. So situation ethics usually supports contraception.
• Christian responses:
• Catholics reply that God’s law about sex is not just a guide; natural family planning lets couples plan responsibly without breaking it; and they question whether easy contraception has really made relationships more loving.
• Many Protestants agree with much of the non-religious and situationist reasoning: responsible parenthood is a loving and Christian choice, made in conscience before God.

Situation ethics

Joseph Fletcher’s theory: do the most loving thing (agape) in each situation.

Agape

Selfless, unconditional love; the love Jesus taught.

• Divorce is the legal ending of a marriage. Remarriage is marrying again while a former husband or wife is still alive.
• Matthew 19:1–12: asked about divorce, Jesus quoted Genesis (‘one flesh’) and said: “What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart” (Matthew 19:6). Moses allowed divorce “because of the hardness of your hearts” (19:8). “Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery” (19:9, all World English Bible, British Edition).
• So Jesus taught marriage is for life, and that remarriage after divorce counts as adultery, with one exception in Matthew’s Gospel (sexual immorality, often read as unfaithfulness). Mark 10:11–12 has no exception.
• Catholic Church: a valid marriage can’t be dissolved. Catholics may get a civil divorce, but can’t remarry in church while the former spouse is alive. An annulment is a Church declaration that a valid marriage never existed (for example, if someone was forced, didn’t understand what they promised, or never intended a lifelong marriage). After an annulment, both may marry in church.
• Orthodox Church: allows divorce in some cases and permits up to three marriages, with the second and third services more penitential.
• Church of England: teaches marriage is for life, but since 2002 a divorced person may remarry in church if the priest agrees; each case is considered individually.
• Methodists and many other Protestants: accept divorce when a marriage has truly broken down, and allow remarriage in church, stressing forgiveness and a fresh start.
• UK law: since 6 April 2022 divorce in England and Wales has been no-fault: a couple can divorce by stating the marriage has broken down irretrievably, without blaming either person.

Christian denominations on divorce and remarriage

Divorce

The legal ending of a marriage.

Remarriage

Marrying again while a former husband or wife is still alive.

Annulment

A declaration (by the Catholic Church or a court) that a marriage was never valid.

No-fault divorce

Divorce without having to blame either partner (England and Wales since 2022).

• Non-religious (atheist and Humanist) attitudes: divorce is often better than staying in an unhappy, unloving or abusive marriage. It can be the least harmful option for the couple and their children. Most see remarriage as a fresh start and a normal, good thing. Humanists encourage couples to part fairly and put children’s welfare first.
• Situation ethics applied: if a marriage has completely broken down, or one partner is being abused, divorce may be the most loving action for everyone involved; and remarriage may be the most loving way to rebuild a life. No rule (even ‘marriage is for life’) should outweigh love in the situation.
• Christian responses:
• Catholics respond that marriage vows are made before God and can’t be broken, whatever the situation; separation is allowed for safety, and annulment where a marriage was never valid, but not remarriage. They argue that keeping promises is itself a form of love.
• Protestants such as Methodists and many Anglicans partly agree with situation ethics: Jesus showed forgiveness, and God doesn’t want people trapped in harmful relationships. But they still teach that divorce is a last resort, after trying to save the marriage through counselling and prayer.
• All Christians agree that abuse is wrong and that people in danger should be protected.